So the people I work with closely have had the history of light snacking during office hours. I’m not usually the snacking type but I see that their snacks are usually tiny packages of kit kats and such, and they snack at the kindergarten level of one little package per day. Which, as all of you know, isn’t going to do much damage.
Then one day, our department head brought in these gigantic bags of Flipz, a costco size box of peanut M&Ms (nuts are good for you by the way) and Reese’s bars for Easter. To tell you the truth, I never knew Easter was the time for candies before this. But it just seems like as many occasions as we try to make out to be an opportunity for pounding those taquilas, rice wines, plum wines, guinesses, sake, sake bombs, egg nogs, j-ello shots, we also find reasons to get down with sugar (the substance, not the girl). And the great thing, I must say, is that I’m not down with candies.
During the first couple days, everyone in my department cautiously picked a tiny package of kit kat bars here and there or shared a bag of M&Ms. Then people from other departments slowly drifted towards the candies one by one. And before you know it, it was a life size ant attack. Seems like every time I turned around, there was an army from every crevice of the office floor slowly fulfilling their duty by bringing things 300 times their weight back to serve the queen. I might be exaggerating a little bit but to put things in perspective, my corner is the furthest point from where the kitchen is and prior to the arrival of these candies, no one ever bothered to get near this corner unless they had business. In fact, we are so far from the kitchen that someone actually donated a mini fridge just to be kind.
Recognizing that I’m possibly one of the very few people here who have the ability to resist the candies was almost like the day when Batman realized that money can buy everything. It was an exciting day for me. It was an inspiration.
My entire department has been so supportive of me starting this P90X2 challenge they are anxious to see how I will destroy myself in the first week. So much so that my boss woman have actually struck a thought of having other colleagues do a pick-a-day roulette bet on the precise day when I will quit, given my history of stopping the original P90X program around 28 days. Though that will not happen this time, I wanted to use the magic of candies to gain some advantage, or simply make myself feel better. From that point on, there was a brand new bag of chocolate covered almonds, Pocky, crackers on the table every week. And as the life size ants continued rolling in, I sat satisfied watching everyone around me (including my opponents in this challenge) slowly eat themselves to that extra pound.
I wish that this may serve as an encouragement to anyone who’ve stumbled a bit on the journey to better health and ideal weight. If you just can’t do it, you can always make your surroundings just a bit unhealthier, one bag of candy at a time.
So how I decided to get off my ass was because there are these few guys in the office who decided to check out the new P90X2 system and see if I’d join them in this sort of an attempt to make them the ultimate American Ninja Warriors. I thought: “Hey, I’d like to be an American Ninja Warrior much more than I’d like to invest my time dreading the time when my dog walks me.”
That’s how I decided to get off my ass. Because my dog deserves it.
Well then in the process of getting all our P90X2 equipments ready, one of the bald dudes suggested that we’d all go through the P90X2 required pre-fit test together, at one spot, together.
For those of you who don’t care for P90X or P90X2, that’s cool. I’m not endorsing any of their products in particular, I am just using this sort of as what’s available to me at the right moment to kick start my workout habits.
So what’s the pre-fit test you ask? The pre-fit test is a series of things you need to do to determine if you’re at least close to fundamentally fit enough to give it a shot. And in the pre-fit test there’s this specific moment where you’re usually so embarrassed you just quietly close that restroom door with whoever else in your house outside and silently snap your before photos in the mirror.
I asked this bald dude “how about I just do what normal guys do and take my own photos?”, he simply vetoed my opinions. Now I get to have a few other dudes point and laugh at me instead of just that dude in the mirror. But that’s cool. I found this video that ultimately reassured me that unless you’re comfortable with yourself, you wouldn’t be able to achieve and sustain anything.
Welcome to How Chony Got Off His Ass! At H.C.G.O.H.A. I’m always grateful for all of you who mistakenly walk in here by clicking the wrong link. You provide me with nothing other than the satisfaction of bragging to my Facebook friends how two more people in this world mistakenly saw Chony’s fat photos. And to me, that means the world and I thank you for it.
I am Chony. I used to be thin and then I became large(r). When I visited my family somewhere in Asia, my 80 year old grandma asks me if I’m sure I want to eat that piece of chicken over our new-years-eve feast. I love my grandma, but all I’ve ever wanted in that moment was that piece of chicken. So now I’ve decided that it is time to get off my ass and get healthy so my grandma will never question my intent on a piece of chicken again.
Any comments or advices are welcome. You can be a dick to me and show me a picture of you dunking that chili cheese fries in your mouth, but don’t be a dick to others (if there are actually more than one of you out there). Be cool.
More updates to come. I’ll leave you on a positive note, with a photo of my dog actually getting off her ass. If she can do it, I can too.